nonsense. utter nonsense.

Entry 8 - 2/7/2026 1:31am

scream at the coast for giving up

and getting swept away

lay in the backwash

just to prove you can stand your ground while laying down



the trees are swaying more than you somehow

maybe that's just how they look right now

there's a lesson at the bottom of every pit

if you manage to climb out, you should probably share it



february gets longer every year

Entry 7 - 2/1/2026 3:53am

raised on the serenity prayer

you almost forget there's a life that's good

where you don't take concessions for every necessity

where you just feel fine when you don't feel happy

when you're more used to counting rosaries than options

it's hard to realize those walls open up

and windows are just holes with a few extra steps

i used to dream about airports but recently i found the heart to dream about planes

picking on flowers just to try to feel sane

a life worth living becomes a life worth losing faster than we're ever able to catch

Entry 6 - 1/23/2026 2:58 am

for a second, you stare at the blinking flashes of blue, then white, then red, and blue again.

the light, finally taking a seat

after light years of traveling faster than it knew where it was going.

Now, finally finding its new home somewhere cozy in your retinas,

or in a back cavity of your memories,

or traveling through your eyes to your hand

and then to the page.

it's intergalactic telegram showed you a world of ice and glass.

so clear that you swear you could see all the way through the core of the planet

and through to the other side of the world.

but, at the same time, it was so bright, and so reflective that ultimately you saw something like the inside of a kaleidoscope.

dancing shadows and light beams jumping and fracturing between the planes of the planets surface.

there were sharp crystals everywhere and your eyes looked back at them like diamonds.

you saw something like a door, constantly opening itself over and over again, never revealing anything that was beyond it.

if you could look farther, you would.

but you'll take what you can get from a thursday night sky.

Entry 5 - 1/13/2026 10:42 pm

New year, new entry. A year flew by and there's only one entry to prove it. I have no clue what this year will bring, but I can only hope it will have more art to show for it. I'm trying to refresh this site. I'm hoping to get it a little snazzier and have a little more to show for itself. No clue if I'll actually get around to finishing this project, but I'm gonna at least try. We'll see how far we get. In the meantime, have you read my Fall Out Boy musical? If you go clicking around, you just might find it. . .

Entry 4 - 5/6/2025 4:57pm

Well, it's now 2025. It's a bit crazy to think I've had this website going since 2023 and yet, have only managed to update it 4 times since. I hope you're happy to see me! Or, read me? If you read with an internal voice, are you hearing me? Anyways, not much has happened though I started working at an animal shelter at the beginning of 2025, and while I don't consider this a diary in any way, I feel this will probably affect the art(visual or verbal or a secret third thing) I make eventually. That is, when I finally understand how to have energy to make art after a work shift. In other news, I've began writing again. A musical, this time. Technically, I do have a full Fall Out Boy jukebox musical waiting in storage. Maybe one day I'll publish it here, considering I don't think it'll be published anywhere else. I hope the fates have been somewhat kind since we've last encountered each other. It will probably be countless moons before the next entry.

Entry 3 - 8/27/2024 3:25pm

Damn it. I forgot about this site again didn't I. Well, I wish I could say there was a lot to fill you in on but alas I am not a liar(as far as you know). My brain enters haze periods frequently, perhaps I'll find some journal scraps to help me remember what came before. . .

Entry 2 - 4/10/2024 5:54pm

OH GOD WHAT YEAR IS IT?! Oh, hello there. It's been so long since I've been here that I've forgotten my manners. I'll admit it. I completely forgot that a) I made a website b) That I made a decent website and c) that I like text as a medium. Needless to say, I have written since my last entries. Perhaps, they will make it to the digital page....

Entry 1 - 10/9/2023 8:02 am

Well, hello there. If I'm being honest, I'm mostly just layout testing while in class. This is filler text. We're talking about the role of drums in music(symbols are more of a filler element, whereas the kick tends to hold the pulse. Snare tends to add to the pulse and can add flar as well, often in conjunction with the kick drum). Every day, I wish I knew how to play piano. Maybe in time I'll get there. Pianos ae versitile, similar to guitar. I kind of consider those like vocals in terms of usage, but that takes a bit of a liberal perspective on the role of vocals in music. Man. Fuck Pianos. Anyways, thanks for reading.

BEFORE THE SITE

I forgot that coffee is an acquired taste

The french press was left to brew a little too long. I noticed you wince as you took a sip of this morning's coffee. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't want you to know I saw. So, 5 minutes later, I took a sip and made a joke about it being harder to swallow than my college boyfriend before brewing a new batch and hoping it took the guilt off your conscience when you poured out the rest.

I don't really understand why we split our work up this way. I know you think it's a nice thing to stay at home, but I don't think you've spent a whole day inside since you were 5 and got the flu. You never missed a flu shot since and I could never figure out how your immune system stayed so strong.

5 tercets, 1 quatrain, 2 refrains, 2 repeating rhymes, the first & third line repeat alternately until the last quatrain which contains both (aba aba aba aba aba abaa)

The french press stood stale like an ice cube in the kitchen.

ANGELS DROP LIKE FLIES

I saw an angel today

Dead on the side of the road

Most days, I would've kept driving

But, blinded by the holy roadkill,

(and with 20 minutes to kill)

I pulled my car over

and sunk my knees in the dirt.

I didn't have a candle

So I brushed off what I remembered from Yom Kippur with Rabbi Mendy

And shared a mourner's kaddish.

My voice was hoarse from the dry desert air

And even if it was shakey,

I knew it was heard.

I put my hand on the crime scene

Carbon-to-carbon connection

(what are angels made of anyways?)

It's the kind of thing that makes you wish life was contagious.

By time I saw it on the road,

This too had already passed.

I couldn't have changed it,

I'm no doctor(of medicine or time travel)

But in that moment, I offered what I could.

A piece of my time, my mind,

And a home remedy for loneliness

I returned to my car

My breath had eased to a relaxed rhythm.

Perhaps it was a guardian angel.

Maybe I just stopped on the side of the road.

ODE TO TONIGHT(or Nostalgic Fags on the Porch)

"Let's keep a good night going," I wink at the moon.

The wind carries my words for me

from my lungs to the stars and the rings on Saturn

but it skips over Venus and heads straight to Mars

and looking at constellations makes me dizzy.

I tap my frugal cigarette,

taking each drag like my last

but knowing this habit dies hard

and I'm no killer.

Nights that are shockingly cosmic.

feeling every sunrise, sunset,

every cricket's chirp and bird's snore.

I light another stick with your lighter.

10 years ago, I said I'd never get rid of it.

I've held true, even if you'll never know it.

Did I do it for you? For me?

Who cares. It's a good light

and even a somber sigh of the past beats amnesia.

I'll never admit that I remember. I'll never get the chance.

It's easy enough to forget.

You dashed through TSA so quickly I almost couldn't see the cold gaze on your face.

The moon decided to tuck away behind the clouds tonight.

The cigarette acts like an incense stick in the ashtray.

I EAT THE SAINTS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST

I eat saints like you for breakfast.

It goes well with a side of potatoes

And compliments the rising sun.

I pick your crosses out of my teeth

And spit out the arrows.

I sip my coffee and read the paper,

With a particularly sacred audience.

If I'm being completely honest,

I'm not a fan of the taste.

But if I stop eating saints,

Your hands will be viewed as generous

And I'll never get away with biting them again.